October 01, 2008
Stay where you are
Perhaps, this is one of the reasons I don't think I want to take the leap. Because if I had to make any decisions when no one else seems capable of that act, I expect consistency in following through that decision I've made. If you did not have an opinion in the decision making process, stay that way after the decision has been made. If you have an opinion, for everyone's sanity's sake, voice it so that you don't thwart others' plan after the decision has been made.
But human beings are not always consistent. In fact, most of the time, not.
That's why we, well, I do end up getting quite pissed sometimes. 'Emotional', someone always says.
Then, I just want to
1. shout, or at least, let me raise my voice, for my sanity sake!
2. cry, because it's the fastest and possibly, most effective way of releasing unwanted tension and negative emotions in the mind, body, heart, gall bladder, liver, etc...
3. watch some TV so that I can shut all other forms of stupidity out and concentrate on one form of (probably stupid too) entertainment.
4. sleep (best, if after having done all the above).
I do not want to
1. be 'emotional', too - I just want to be very pissed. That's not emotional. That's just farking pissed.
2. not be 'emotional'.
3. calm down, unless I'm being paid to. At work, I'm being paid to calm down when I feel I'm getting pissed. In other spheres of life, I could try if only I'm being paid too.
That is why, I do think, that I should just stay where I am, alongside my Bblics... on that cold, hard, wooden planked shelf.
We wait. When waiting gets painful, we buy some clothes. On days that are getting colder, we buy good, warm coats to last, to keep us warm. I don't know about a lifetime. But, at least, until we get our butts off the damn piece of wood.
Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 14:08